Reality check

So this blog is meant to be honest and to highlight the bad as well as the good so that's what this entry is going to do.
Yesterday was the worst day I've had since I arrived in France. Louise and I spent the entire day working on our apartment, which had been left filthy by whoever last owned it, and were cleaning and doing chores around it for 6 hours. By the end of it, obviously neither of us were in the greatest of moods and were also aching all over and not feeling too great. I've also been worrying a lot about my bank recently, because even after six weeks from opening the account I STILL don't have a bank card, and because the branch I opened it in isn't local to me but to my prof ref it's very difficult for me to contact them and find out what's going on, especially seeing as I am not confident enough in my French to communicate with them over the phone. Because of this, I had asked my prof ref to call them for me to find out what was going on, and of course they didn't answer the phone and now won't be open again until Tuesday when I have a training day anyway so can't do anything about it then. After expressing my frustration with this particular bank to my prof ref, she suddenly got very angry with me and basically started calling me ungrateful and unappreciative of all the time she spends helping me, even though my frustration clearly had nothing to do with her but with the bank itself. Basically, a really crap day got turned into an even worse one because suddenly I was having an unintended argument with someone who is meant to look after me and help me settle into this country and was pretty much doing the opposite of that. I now feel like I can't ask her for any help at all anymore because every time I do she is just going to make me feel awkward or guilty and I don't want to be feeling that way. I also don't know if she's even going to come and help us move in today which she originally said she would due to this conversation we had last night. I am just incredibly frustrated with this entire situation at the moment, because all I want to do is be independent and not have to rely on people but because of how absolutely shit all the administrative processes are here I find myself having to rely on people anyway because of a lack of proper communication between myself and banks/estate agencies/electricity companies. At this point I don't even feel comfortable contacting her today asking her what time she is willing to come over and help because I feel like she might get angry with me again and call me ungrateful etc which is the last thing I need because I am NOT ungrateful, for all the help that I have been given in this country I have really expressed my thanks but the point is I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for asking someone who is meant to be helping me out anyway to make a phone call to a bank, which is actually incredibly important because without this bank card I am soon going to be out of money and unable to pay for anything, as I found out last night when my Travelex started to tell me I have reached my limits. So it's not like I'm just asking for a casual favour, this kind of determines whether I can continue to live in France or not.
I am just completely baffled by the inappropriateness of what happened last night. I don't know whether it's a culture thing, or just two clashing personalities, but to me I think it's utterly ridiculous.
HOPEFULLY today we are moving a sofa and Louise's bed and the final odds and ends of our possessions into the new apartment. I just want to start living there to be honest because I am sick and tired of not having my own place and having to just be what feels like a burden to everyone else when really if they got their bloody acts together we wouldn't have to ask them for any help ever again.
Last night was the first time I've had trouble sleeping since arriving in France. Even when I first got here and was all over the place I didn't feel as bad as I did last night. You shouldn't be put in a situation where you are literally having panic attacks in bed over having to contact the person who is meant to look after you and make you feel safe!
But anyway. On a more positive note, after the absolute shit of the day yesterday, in the evening I went to the massive funfair on the left bank with some friends and that cheered me up a bit.
I'm very much hoping that come tonight we will be able to sleep in our own apartment. I'm also hoping that by Wednesday I will either have a bank card or know what the hell is going on with mine. A couple of friends have told me that they will come with me to the bank branch in Darnetal to enquire with me as I don't feel comfortable asking my prof ref to enquire for me any more. This whole weekend has been a big downer because of everything that's happened and also because everyone else here seems to be completely settled, and some people I know have even used this long weekend to go travelling to other places in Europe and it really really gets me down that Louise and I STILL can't do anything like that, still can't completely relax here and go out and have a good time because still, six weeks after moving here nothing is truly settled! Her bank card got eaten by the machine the other day too so she's carrying round just as much bad luck as I am.
I'm really hoping with all my might that things are going to start to look up soon, and that we will be able to move into our new apartment today or tomorrow and that the bank will get sorted out and I can actually start living life properly here and enjoying myself, instead of just feeling like a homeless burden who has to rely on other people for everything. Here's to that dream coming true.